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Literary Humor: Waiting for Godot

February 25, 2014 Posted by L.L. Barkat

Waiting for Godot comic

[on a scale from wit to whimsy: Funny]

My daughter, who has the utmost patience even for things like the appendices of Tolkien’s books, says Waiting for Godot was the most boring thing she’s tried to read (besides poor, dear Hemingway, who she says endlessly repeats himself—in which case, we are waiting for Hemingway… to get to the point).

“It might have been better as a play,” she told me about Godot.

Or it might have been better as a comic, as it turns out. I think I’ll share this post with her and set the universe back in literary balance.

Via Samuel Beckett Facebook Page

***

Browse more Literary Humor

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Filed Under: Comics, Featured, Funny, Literary Humor

Colbert: Great Gatsby Book Club!

February 21, 2014 Posted by L.L. Barkat

[on a scale from wit to whimsy: Satire]

What happens in the Colbert Great Gatsby book club? Plenty of Colbert, of course. Reading was apparently optional. The white suit was apparently “required wearing.”

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Filed Under: Featured, Funny, Funny Videos, Literary Humor, Satire, Stephen Colbert, Uncategorized

Funny French: I Would Like to Buy a Hamburger

February 19, 2014 Posted by L.L. Barkat

[on a scale from wit to whimsy: LOL]

We’re not sure what Steve will get when he orders his hamburger. But, by the looks of it, he might be best suited to eat it through a straw.

Funny French Pink Panther video with Steve Martin.

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Filed Under: Featured, Funny, Funny French, Funny Videos, LOL, Steve Martin

Love Humor: You’re the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly

February 13, 2014 Posted by L.L. Barkat

[on a scale from wit to whimsy: Tongue in Cheek]

What better humor for Valentine’s Day, than a tongue in cheek love song? 😉

Featured photo by Ukanda, Creative Commons, via Flickr.

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Filed Under: Featured, Funny, Funny Love Songs, Funny Songs, Love, Tongue-in-Cheek

Wanted: Parental Potty Patience

February 6, 2014 Posted by Dena Dyer

Potty Training Humor Funny Potty

[on a scale from wit to whimsy: Ticklish Funny]

We’re in the middle of my favorite chic-but-cheap superstore when my four year-old gets that look on his face. “No!” I yell, to the consternation of a lady who’s trying to pick out perfect melons.

I think hard…I have a cart full of groceries, no diaper bag, and exactly twenty minutes to pay out, load my stuff into the car, and be at the pick-up line at my oldest son’s school.

I know what you’re thinking. Four years-old and still not trained? Trust me, I feel the same way. We’ve tried everything with son #2:

• the encouragement technique: “You can do it!”

• the peer-pressure technique: “Doesn’t everyone else in your class wear underwear?”

• the shaming technique: “Only babies go in their diapers.”

• and finally, the bribe technique: “If you go number two in the potty, we’ll buy you ANYTHING you want from the store.” (By the way, the price limit of said reward has escalated in recent months. He could ask for a live pony now and I might say yes.)

Nothing has worked. I’m not Catholic, but this sure seems like Purgatory—or at least, one of Dante’s circles of Hades. According to my extensive (okay, two-minute) Wikipedia research, there is actually a level where people are covered in human…never mind.

The other day, I sat in the bathroom across from our little man, doing my best to affirm him. “You can do it!” I said.

Then I got so desperate for victory that I started chanting, “Push it out, push it out, w-a-a-a-a-y out!”

I’m on the edge here, people.

Back to the store. In one of those “can’t believe I’m doing this” moments, I decide that paying for groceries is more important than letting my little angel have another teachable moment.

I can stand the smell for a few minutes. I’m just not sure my cashier will be too happy about it…still, we’re in a part of town I don’t frequent too often, so I’m not that concerned.

I am concerned that this trial of parenting patience and stamina will never be over. That’s why it’s so nice to know that I’m not alone. In my saner moments, I remember that parents have potty-trained their offspring for thousands of years, and they survived the process. Maybe with a few extra grey hairs, but still.

I also know that my son is growing up fast, and he won’t be at this juncture forever. So I’m peddling for patience, gritting my teeth, and shelling out hard-earned cash for glorified diapers.

And I remind myself of a cliché that seems terribly, pun-fully appropriate here:

This, too, shall pass.

Photo by JeepersMedia, Creative Commons, via Flickr.

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Filed Under: Featured, Funny, Funny Family, Punny, Ticklish

Funny Cat Books: I Could Pee on This

February 4, 2014 Posted by Glynn Young

Funny-Poems-Cat-Poems-Cute-Cat-1

This is a reprint from an article by Glynn Young, originally published at Tweetspeak Poetry.

***

It’s rather startling: a recurring line in poetry that reads “I could pee on that.”

Charles Bukowski, perhaps? Sandra Bernhard waxing softly poetic?

Nope. A cat.

I Could Pee on This

Her new sweater doesn’t smell of me
I could pee on that
She’s gone out for the day and
left her laptop on the counter
I could pee on that
Her new boyfriend just pushed
my head away
I could pee on him
She’s ignoring me ignoring her
I could pee everywhere
She’s making up for it
by putting me on her lap
I could pee on this
I could pee on this

That’s the title poem of I Could Pee on This: And Other Poems by Cats by Francesco Marciuliano. You may have heard of him; when he’s not recording poems by cats, he’s co-authoring the comic strip Sally Forth. Marciuliano writes the strip; Craig Macintosh draws it. The strip has no cats; those are saved for this book.

Growing up, I was a dog person. My family always seemed to have one, usually mixed breeds. We never had a cat.

I could pee on thisMy wife and I were married four months and living in Texas when our first cat came on the scene, a kitten huddled under a bush near the mailboxes of our apartment complex. No one else was around. I put up signs saying she was found. The signs were torn down. After the kitten became an adult, a friend charitably described her as looking like a silver polishing cloth. She also had the personality of a silver polishing cloth.

Every poem in I Could Pee on This is true.

Our cat lived until she was almost 18 years old. She was one sturdy silver polishing cloth.

A few years after her death, a black cat (a male) wandered into the neighborhood. The neighborhood children, including our youngest son, took pity and fed the cat milk and potato chips. A late cold snap promised to drive temperatures below zero, and my wife took pity. She allowed the cat to spend the night in our garage.

Thank you, my wife. To a homeless cat, that’s a sign of immediate adoption. The cat was so grateful that he left my wife a present on the doorstep – a headless bunny.

The cat moved in.

The only poetry book about cats I’ve previously been aware of was T.S. Eliot’s Old Possum’s Books of Practical Cats, which inspired the musical Cats. But Eliot wrote those poems. There’s no question that the poems of I Could Pee on This were written by cats.

Published in 2012, it’s a laugh-out-loud collection. The poems are divided into four sections: family, work, play, and existence. Which means they are mostly about sleeping.

It’s 8 a.m. and time to rest
It’s 10 a.m. and time to relax
It’s noon and time for repose
It’s 3 p.m. and time for shut-eye
It’s 6 p.m. and time for siesta
It’s 9 p.m. and time to slumber
It’s midnight and time to snooze
It’s 4 a.m. and time to hang upside down
from your bedroom ceiling, screaming

This is a tell-it-like-it-truly-is collection of poems about cats and by cats. At the end of the month, Marciuliano is publishing I Could Chew on This – poems by dogs. At least there will be some balance.

Except with cats, no such thing as balance exists. Even a book like I Could Take You to the Taxidermist: And Other Poems by Cat Owners still wouldn’t be sufficient to counter cats.

Cats rule. And they know it.

Photo by pedrosimoes7, Creative Commons, via Flickr.

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Filed Under: Featured, Funny, Funny Animals, Funny Books, Funny cat pictures, Funny cat poems, Funny poems

Funny Eating: Cooking Fast and Fresh With West

February 3, 2014 Posted by L.L. Barkat

[on a scale from wit to whimsy: Adorably Funny]

Misha Collins and his toddler West know how to cook fast. If your plumb line is decades, that is.

HT for funny video: Sonia Joie

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Filed Under: Celebrity Humor, Eat, Featured, Funny, Funny Family, Funny Videos

Celebrity Humor: Arnold and the Cat

January 31, 2014 Posted by L.L. Barkat

Celebrity Humor Arnold Terminator and Funny Cat pictures

[on a scale from wit to whimsy: Funny, Caricature]

I don’t know. The resemblance is striking.

(It’s okay. Schwarzie can take the tease. 🙂 )

Celebrity Humor compliments of juxtaposition. Cat photo by Claire Burge. Used with permission.

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Filed Under: Caricature, Celebrity Humor, Featured, Funny cat pictures, Funny pictures

Facebook Wants You in its SAP

January 30, 2014 Posted by L.L. Barkat

Facebook SAP satire at Eatloveread.me

[on a scale from wit to whimsy: Satire]

‘Tis the season to receive college direct mail. Oh my.

I can’t keep up with the letters that are pouring in for my older daughter. She stopped opening the mail after the first paper cut and a good deal of satirical attitude about the flattery. “An outstanding student like you.” “Such talent.” “You are destined for greatness.”

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She’s not buying it.

As the parental unit of the house, I have been quite amused and, consequently, couldn’t resist taking up my own chance to write a direct mail piece from my favorite love-not-to-love social media company. Without further adieu, Facebook Wants You in its SAP:

***

Dear Blogger or Business Owner:

We have run some tests and found you to be a person of outstanding hope and resilience. We’ve noticed that such qualities make for the ideal participant in SAP (our world-class Status Achievement Program).

If you join SAP, you can achieve new lows in your internet reach—leading you to prized professional qualities like loneliness, depression, and despair.

As a bonus, you will be invited to join our global SAP dance team, led by our infamous Public Relations dance instructors.

We understand that Twitter and Google+ are making a bid for your time and money. But we know SAP will promise greater low returns. And THIS will allow you to use your outstanding hope and resilience.

So, join us today. We can’t wait to give you the opportunity to use your hope and resilience in previously unparalleled ways. What could possibly be more rewarding?

Your Biggest Friend,
The Facebookie Team

P.S. Not convinced? We’ve done the math and observed the important trends noted on the chart below. Read it now. Don’t delay. We’re absolutely convinced you’ll see the benefits of being a SAP participant. Share more today!!

Facebook SAP satire from eatloveread.me

Sign photo at post top, Banalities, Creative commons, via Flickr.

***
Browse more Facebook humor

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Filed Under: Comics, Facebook, Featured, Satire

Funny Videos: Frasier—Niles Starts a Fire

January 30, 2014 Posted by L.L. Barkat

[on a scale from wit to whimsy: ROTFL]

An ironing board with an antenna (I trust it gets good reception), doggy-modesty, and a pressing date. What more could you want from Frasier?

HT for video: Darlene.

***

Browse more funny videos

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Filed Under: Featured, Funny, Funny Videos, Physical Humor, ROTFL

5 Great Reasons to Write Funny

January 29, 2014 Posted by L.L. Barkat

Five Great reasons to write funny sign

Maybe you think you don’t have a funny bone in your body. Or you see others who clearly have a “talent” to write funny. Perhaps you’ve been making your way in lyrical prose, journalism, book reviews. You have no need to write funny, right?

Never mind. Here are 5 great reasons to write funny:

1. Writing funny is hard.

To choose to write funny is to choose a challenge. There’s a reason the Greeks elevated comedy above tragedy: they knew it was easier to write drama than to write comedy.

Granted, it seems that some people are naturally funny. Somehow, they see the world upside down, inside out, or through a glass rippled. But to write funny and funnier is also about acquiring a broad base of skills and a range of techniques (just check out the breadth of our Humor Scale… which is, itself, by no means complete).

2. Writing funny encourages revision.

While all writing can benefit from revision, writers can get to the place where they require little of it to pull off a well-crafted piece. It’s easy to slip into sedentary status.

To revise is to exercise. It requires an increase in knowledge, language facility, and technique. And then it requires focused application of these elements. (I bet you dollars to donuts that Garrison Keillor is still thinking of ways to write funnier).

Writing funny often requires multiple revisions to really work a piece. Lift those juxtapositions! One more twist. Another turn. Flip something on its head. Cut, cut, cut (upper cut!). The harder you revise, the funnier you can make a piece.

3. Writing funny cultivates courage.

There is nothing quite like trying to write funny and knowing that if you don’t nail it, you haven’t… nailed it. (Tight rope walking might be a comparable activity.)

While failed tragedy forgives (for the most part), failed comedy strikes the writer’s heart. If you’ve cultivated a cushy writing life, it might be time to get courageous and up the writing ante. (Sure, bring along a safety net of encouraging friends or chocolate truffles for the adventure.)

4. Writing funny offers partnership.

I can’t remember the last time (or any time, for that matter), that I felt compelled to consult my kids for writing advice.

But when I wrote the punny satire Facebook Executive Psychologist Triage Meeting, I decided to sit down with my sixteen year old, who gave me some expert advice on how to write funny.

(Any continued advice on this point would be welcomed, especially since puns are extremely difficult to pull off in a culture that does not appreciate the fine points of punning. For while “the Roman orators Cicero and Quintilian believed that ‘paronomasia’, the Greek term for punning, was a sign of intellectual suppleness and rhetorical skill, modern English culture is often less… forgiving of a supple punchline.)

5. Writing funny makes you laugh—if not at your jokes, at least at yourself. And that’s good for the heart (& maybe the body).

Watching Carol Burnett recently, I was struck that she’s still with us, still doing her funny business. In fact, I momentarily wished I was a social scientist, positioned to do a comparative longitudinal study on comedian longevity versus rock star longevity.

There might be no longevity correlation whatsoever, between the focus on comedy as opposed to the focus on drama, but at least one man received an honorary doctorate for discovering humor’s power to preserve.

Where to Begin

If you’re not ready to (publicly) write funny yet, why not begin by laughing? Take the 1,000 Laughs challenge. Or pretend you are a penguin in the polar vortex. That will get you thinking on opposite poles.

***

At Tweetspeak Poetry, we know that one of the absolute best ways to develop language facility is to read a poem a day. Check out our beautiful poetry daily. The most convenient way to read an excellent poem a day.

Photo by Bert Dickerson, Creative Commons, via Flickr.

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Filed Under: Featured, Write Funny

Funny Penguins & the Polar Vortex

January 27, 2014 Posted by L.L. Barkat

[on a scale from wit to whimsy: Accidental, sweetly Funny]

The Polar Vortex is getting everybody down.

Even the poor little penguins. 🙂

Funny penguins video HT: Maureen Doallas

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Filed Under: Accidental, Featured, Funny, Funny Animals, Funny Videos, Penguin humor

Funny Songs: Taylor the Latte Boy

January 27, 2014 Posted by L.L. Barkat

[on a scale from wit to whimsy: Funny]

She loves him, she loves him, she loves him. For his caffeine and his generous foam.

Taylor the Latte Boy Song by Marcy Heisler and Zina Goldrich. Sung by Kristin Chenoweth. Photo by Wickerfurniture, Creative commons via Flickr.

Browse more funny songs

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Filed Under: Featured, Funny, Funny Love Songs, Funny Songs, Funny Videos, Love

Loki: I’m Reading a Book Video

January 22, 2014 Posted by L.L. Barkat

[On a scale from wit to whimsy: Funny]

Overall, a funny video with dashes of dark humor. And, to tell you the truth, I get it. Who likes to be interrupted when reading a book? Could make a person… grumpy.

Enjoy Loki. Enjoy a laugh.

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Filed Under: Featured, Funny, Funny Loki, Funny Loki Videos, Funny Videos, Funny: Reading

Emily Litella Substitute Teacher Video

January 22, 2014 Posted by L.L. Barkat

[On a scale from wit to whimsy: ROTFL]

This Emily Litella substitute teacher video contains one or two “naughty” words, but is altogether very clean humor that might make you cry. (Tissues available in the sidebar.)

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Filed Under: Emily Litella, Featured, Funny Videos, ROTFL, Teaching Humor

Pooh and Eeyore Get Sequined Boxers

January 21, 2014 Posted by L.L. Barkat

Funny Pictures Pooh and Eeyore Sequin Boxers

[on a scale from wit to whimsy: Ticklish]

You can read about the advent of these exclusive sequined boxers for Pooh and Eeyore in: Sequins.

Then look forward to the day when you can get your own set of sequined humor shirts, slacks, and (probably not) underpants.

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Filed Under: Comics, Featured, Funny Fashion, Sequins, Ticklish

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